difference between confident and confidential

A young boy asks his Dad,

'What is the difference between confident and confidential?
'Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son,

that's confidential!

Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'

Wife replies, '
No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

Brother wanted

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,

'send me a brother'..

..Santa wrote back,

'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'.....

Losing all your friends

Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'

Anger management

Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'

Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'

Husband: 'How does that help?'

Wife: 'I use your toothbrush .'

Meanings of Office Language

1.."We will do it" means" You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means" More work will be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means" We have not yet started working it"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means" Its not getting done, At least not till tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means" I have already decided, I will tell you what to do.

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means" We lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means" I have no time to talk now"

8."We can always do it" means" We cannot do it on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "We screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means" We fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means" find a way out yourself, no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means" Well even if you told me earlier that would not have mattered!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means" I will tell you where your fault is"

14."Well Family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,"means," You are not going home unless you finish your job"

15."We are a team," means," Everybody shares the blame"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

17."All the Best" means" You are in trouble"

The Accent of Malayali

Q: Where did the Malayali study?
A: In the ko-liage.
Q: Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
A: He is very bissi.

Q: Why did the Malayali buy and air-ticket?
A: To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.

Q: Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
A: To yearn meney.

Q: What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
A: He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

Q: Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome?
A: Because he wanted to hear pope music.

Q: How does a Malayali spell moon?
A: MOON - Yem Yo yet another Yo and Yem

Q: What is Malayali management graduate called?
A: Yem Bee Yae.

Q: What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
A: He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

Q: What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
A: An Oto

Q: And for cargo?
A: Loree

Q: Where does he pray?
A: Demble

Q: Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A: A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

Q: Name the only part of the werld, where Malayali's dont werk hard?
A: Kerala

Q: Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
A: Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting,folding and re-tying the lungi.