Why Indian Cricket Is Improving Day by Day

This is the clear answer for the question Why Indian Cricket Is Improving Day by Day.If we are practicing like this we can produce more and more Tendulkar and Dhoni

difference between confident and confidential

A young boy asks his Dad,

'What is the difference between confident and confidential?
'Dad says, 'You are my son, I'm confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son,

that's confidential!

Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

Husband asks, 'Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means 'Without Information Fighting Everytime'!'

Wife replies, '
No, it means 'With Idiot For Ever'!!!'

Brother wanted

A small boy wrote to Santa Claus,

'send me a brother'..

..Santa wrote back,

'SEND ME YOUR MOTHER'.....

Losing all your friends

Man comes home and finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend and kills him.

Wife says 'If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends.'

Anger management

Husband: 'When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?'

Wife: 'I clean the toilet.'

Husband: 'How does that help?'

Wife: 'I use your toothbrush .'

Meanings of Office Language

1.."We will do it" means" You will do it"

2."You have done a great job" means" More work will be given to you"

3."We are working on it" means" We have not yet started working it"

4."Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means" Its not getting done, At least not till tomorrow!"
5."After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means" I have already decided, I will tell you what to do.

6."There was a slight miscommunication" means" We lied"

7."Lets call a meeting and discuss" means" I have no time to talk now"

8."We can always do it" means" We cannot do it on time"

9."We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline" means "We screwed up, we cannot deliver on time."

10."We had slight differences of opinion "means" We fought"

11."Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help you" means" find a way out yourself, no help from me"

12."You should have told me earlier" means" Well even if you told me earlier that would not have mattered!"

13."We need to find out the real reason" means" I will tell you where your fault is"

14."Well Family is important, your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,"means," You are not going home unless you finish your job"

15."We are a team," means," Everybody shares the blame"

16."That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"

17."All the Best" means" You are in trouble"

The Accent of Malayali

Q: Where did the Malayali study?
A: In the ko-liage.
Q: Why did the Malayali not go to ko-liage today?
A: He is very bissi.

Q: Why did the Malayali buy and air-ticket?
A: To go to Thuubai, zimbly to meet his ungle in the Gelff.

Q: Why do Malayali's go to the Gelff?
A: To yearn meney.

Q: What did the Malayali do when the plane caught fire?
A: He zimbly jembd out of the vindow.

Q: Why did the Malayali go to the concert in Rome?
A: Because he wanted to hear pope music.

Q: How does a Malayali spell moon?
A: MOON - Yem Yo yet another Yo and Yem

Q: What is Malayali management graduate called?
A: Yem Bee Yae.

Q: What does a Malayali do when he goes to America?
A: He changes his name from Karunakaran to Kevin Curren.

Q: What does a Malayali use to commute to office everyday?
A: An Oto

Q: And for cargo?
A: Loree

Q: Where does he pray?
A: Demble

Q: Who is Bruce Lee's best friend ?
A: A Malaya-Lee of coarse.

Q: Name the only part of the werld, where Malayali's dont werk hard?
A: Kerala

Q: Why is industrial productivity so low in Kerala?
A: Because 86% of the shift time is spent on lifting,folding and re-tying the lungi.

Padam 1: Brand Illatha Jeevan

Double click the image to make it readable

Its a funny satire on 7th std Malayalam text book published by the Kerala Government.If you like this joke please forward other mallu friends by clicking SEND link below:

Employee of The Month

The Employee of the month award has given to him for his hard work

SUCCESSFUL WOMEN AND MEN

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes.

There's no use in two people remembering the same thing .

MARRIAGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

A ROPE ENDS IT

DESPERATION
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

WOMAN HITLER

THE EYES:
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE


MOTHER-IN-LAW:

When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

PRINCESS DIANA

PRINCESS DIANA

When you rearrange the letters:

END IS A CAR SPIN

And all woman in heaven

What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!

Beautiful Red Underware

Teacher to Sardar: Write your best friend's name in English.
Sardar wrote: ' Beautiful Red Underware'
Teacher: What?
Sardar: His name is Sundar Lal Chaddi.

Teacher and Student

Teacher in Class: Dehli min "Kutub Meenar" hai.
A student was sleeping teacher wakes him and asks: What did I just say?

Student: Dehli main Kutta Beemar hai.

Slicing the finger

Good Friend and Best Friend

A good friend would would come visit you in jail,
but a best friend would be sitting right next to you saying:
"That was awesome! Lets do it again!!"

Smoking Fish

Funny picture of smoking fish

Husband,Wife and Begger

A man and his wife were walking on a busy street. Coming to a corner a begger shouted out to the lady:
"Oh sundari!!! andhha huu. sawa panch rupya de de" (Oh beautiful!! I am blind give me five and a quarter rupees)

At once her husband told her: "de de, de de, tujhhe sundari bola hai to har haal me ye andhha hi hai!!" (Give him what he asks, If he thinks you are beautiful then there is no doubt that he is blind!!)

If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit

If Bill Gates marries Madhuri Dixit;these could be the caption in Indian Newspapers:
Bill goes Dhak-Dhak!
English Babu Desi Mem.
Brain marries Beauty!?
Windows ke peechhe kya hai?
Windows ke peechhe....!?

Ooo Windows mein Bill hai mera...

The next version of Windows will be "Windows MD."
Microsoft Mouse V/S Madhuri - the cat.
Relax guys! they'll only go for a virtual honeymoon.
Bill to count his millions & billions in EK, DO, TEEN.
Gate for Bill, Windows for M.F.Hussain
Mera Bill ghar aaya O Hussainji, Mera...
Mera bill bhee kitna pagal hai...
Bill Will, Gates Wates... Main kya jaanu re... !

Tomato with teeth

Tomato with teeth

F

തോന്ന്യവാസിയുടെ തോന്ന്യാസങ്ങള്‍!!: ഐഡിയ മോബൈല്‍ - ഒരു തട്ടിപ്പ് ഐഡിയ....

തോന്ന്യവാസിയുടെ തോന്ന്യാസങ്ങള്‍!!: ഐഡിയ മോബൈല്‍ - ഒരു തട്ടിപ്പ് ഐഡിയ....

Roses are RED

Roses are RED
Violets are BLUE
Monkeys Like U
Should be kept in the ZOO
Dont Worry, u’ll find me there TOO
Not in the Cage, but LAUGHING AT U

I am Coke you are Sprite

Promise me we are true friends
I am Coke you are Sprite
I am lamp you are light
I am Sawan you are badal
I am Normal you are Pagal
I am Water you are Tanki
I am Tarzan you are Monkey

Free VOIP Solution Free calls Worldwide: FREE calls from India

Free VOIP Solution Free calls Worldwide: FREE calls from India

A candle may melt

A candle may melt
and it’s fire may die,
but the love you have
given me will always
stay as a flame in my heart.

Please tell me even i don”t know

May u may not get well that soon.
so that u are able to enjoy thecompany
of the demsels and get injected at regular
intervals withthe vial of life! So would u
call me your enemy or ur well wisher?
Please tell me even i don”t know.

Good FRIENDS

Good FRIENDS are hard to find,

harder to leave,

and impossible to forget.

Salary Expected

Sardar ji was filling up application form for a job.

He was not sure as to what to be filled in column "Salary Expected".

After much thought he wrote: Yes !!!!!!!!!!

hoohoo

A man went to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his hoohoo. According to the attending Nurse, the patient's girl friend found the ring in his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used petroleum jelly to slip the ring on his hoohoo while he was asleep. I don't know what's worse: 1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your hoohoo. 3) Or finding out your hoohoo fits through your wedding ring

CATHOLIC MOTHERS

FOUR CATHOLIC MOTHERS were having coffee together and discussing how wonderful their children are:
The first mother tells her friends, 'My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'.'
The second Catholic woman chirps, 'Well, my son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'.'
The third Catholic woman says smugly, 'Well, not to put you down, but my son is a Cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Eminence'.'The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence.
The first three women give her a subtle 'Well...?' She replies, 'My son is a handsome, 6'3', hard-bodied, Chippendale's stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, all the women say, 'Oh, my God!''

PEACE ON EARTH

What do u call a woman in heaven?
An Angel.
A crowd of woman in heaven?
A host of Angels.
And all woman in heaven?
PEACE ON EARTH!

---

Be a better friend, newshound, and know-it-all with Yahoo! Mobile.

Delivery

A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows

Great Mathmatic Expert

Computer Expert Neeeded

Fire

Interviewer: just imagine your in 3rd floor,

it caught fire and how will you escape?


Sardar: its simple. I will stop my imagination!!!

Clever Sardar

When sardar was traveling with his wife in an auto,

the driver adjusted mirror.
Sardar shouted,
"You are trying to see my
wife?

Sit back. I will drive.

Sardar Collections

After returning back from a foreign trip, sardar asked his wife,
Do I look like a foreigner?
Wife: No! Why?
Sardar: In London a lady asked me Are you a foreigner?


One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this
village???
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!


Lecturer: write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi
So Sardar writes, "Gandi was a great man, but I don't know who is
Jayanthi.

100 Letter Word

Manager asked to sardar at an interview.
Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?
Sardar replyed: -P-O-S-T-B-O-X.

Birthday

Interviewer:
what is your birth date?
Sardar: 13th October
Which year?
Sardar: Oye ullu ke pathe _ _ _ EVERY YEAR

Only in India

Fitness : ONly can see in USA

Worlds Biggest Cheating

Worlds Biggest Cheating

A man's Last Night

Randy went to the doctor and the doctor told him he'd be dead within 24 hours. So he went home and told his wife that he wanted to make love to her as many times as he can before the morning (when he dies).So they do it, once, twice, three times, then they fall asleep. At 2 in the morning, he whispers to his wife"Honey, I want to make love to you one last time"And his wife responds"Thats easy for you to say, Randy, YOU don't have to get up in the morning!"

Call Girl

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”
**********************************************************************************

Wife wanted

A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same: "You can have mine."
************************************************************************************

One Kiss Per Meter

Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty & beautiful girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

"Only one kiss per meter," replied the smirking male clerk.

"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten meters."

With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.

The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.
**********************************************************************************